Shocking Berkeley

by Steed Dropout
Aug. 1, 2013

She mooned a fire-truck racing up Durant.

The truck swerved almost hitting a nearby pedestrian.

She stopped me entering 7-11 to ask for a smoke. Then,”would you buy me a cigar on the way out?”

She was perched on the hood of a Berkeley Police car.

She copulated outside a Berkeley business on lower Telegraph.

She will expose herself for a smoke, or small change.

I recently took her pic as she sprawled on the walk.

'Our Bleeding Street Girl.' Before she bled, she led. Photo by Ted Friedman.

But she topped all that with blood streaming from face-scares last week. She couldn’t stop picking at her face.

Our brown-shirt Teley ambassador, who patrols the avenue offering assistance, has seen every misery known to life on the street and he was upset about her.

“Can’t something be done?” he implored.

If he couldn’t take it, neither could I.

A press-photographer I know said he had a shot of her martyred face.

One look and I called 911.

After a knock-down drag-out argument with a police dispatcher, I posted a burst of hurt, (our street girl’s and mine).

Brrrr. Berkeley Summer. Even sleeping dogs can't lie. Photo by Ted Friedman.

My pictorial diatribe was just another ship-wreck note lost at sea on Facebook, which should call itself “spit in a bucket.”

I sent the photo and the shipwreck note to our police chief, who responded that he’d “review our records.”

Candid. A model gets it on. Photo by Ted Friedman.

I reviewed my own records only to learn that the dispatcher’s argument was meant to keep me on the phone long enough to provide info for the officer she contacted (off-line) while she was playing me.

This led me to call off my save-our-bleeding street-girl campaign.

You can't hide at City Hall. Photo by Ted Friedman.

I saw her two days later, after she got back from treatment on what she called “the psyche ward.” A police officer had driven her there.

The photographer who took the bloody shot asked me to take down the bloody shot. “I’m uncomfortable seeing the shot” splattered all over Face Book.

Exploiting Love. Photo by Ted Friedman.

Little does he know how little it was seen. My Facebook friends are bots.

I took down the bloody shot.

Then my critics climbed on.

Exploited between mouthfuls. Photo by Ted Friedman.

We are shocked, shocked went their beefs—to know you are practicing media exploitation.

You mean like Damon Runyon, Walter Winchell, Mike Royko, Herb Caen…Steven Crane (“Maggie: Girl of the Streets”)?

Exploited while sleeping. Photo by Ted Friedman.

How is a poor Berkeley hack like me to survive in an age of Huff?

Excuuuuuuuse me!

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