It’s the Mitt, Stupid!

by Steed Dropout
September 30, 2012


Berkeley Ca

They’ll blame his loss on gaffs, and haves vs. nots, but no one will know the the real reason for Romney’s defeat — his name.

His first name.

The founder of PR, Edward Bernays, Freud’s nephew, manipulated the subliminal to manipulate human behavior. Politics is all too human and all too manipulatable. Here’s the subliminal low-down on Mitt.

A mitt is a baseball catcher’s glove.

The baseball catcher’s mitt is a pillowy leather glove, stuffed with padding to protect a catcher’s hand from fastballs.

Mitt - uncredited.

The baseball catcher squats behind the hitter, and fields the pitches, sometimes wild, sometimes a hundred miles an hour — ka‚Ķzing!

But mitts are clumsy gloves that only a baseball player with years of experience behind the plate could use to advantage, and Mitt is a natural born fumbler. Ask any catcher, and he will say the mitt is a necessary evil, but nevertheless an evil. Both a necessity and an encumbrance.

Enter Mitt Romney.

He was named after family friend, hotel magnate J. Willard Marriott, and his father’s cousin, Milton “Mitt” Romney, a former quarterback for the Chicago Bears. He was called “Billy” until kindergarten, when he indicated a preference for “Mitt.” (early sign of poor judgment.)

He preferred Mitt, and seems to have succeeded despite the name. But in a race to the death in November, he may trip on his name — Mitt.

What’s in a name?

“That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.” — Shakespeare. But what a about a mitt.?

A well-used mitt stinks of sweat, spit, and dirt, and aged leather.

But Mitt has yet to prove he’s a rose, rather than an odiferous catcher’s mitt.

We hope to make electoral history with this one.

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