Berkeley Street “Leader” Attacked, Berkeley-style

by Steed Dropout
March, 9, 2015

Crime scene. Weapon was wrapped in Subway bag, lower right.
Photo by Ted Friedman.

‘Purple,’ only wanted to be helpful when he was whacked with a submarine sandwich, Saturday, on Telegraph Avenue.

Recently named by one Teley businessman as “leader” of a band, of notorious slackers slouched outside a tattoo head-shop near the Caffe Mediterraneum, Purple is, at 6’2″ an imposing figure, with a thoughtful personal philosophy he shares with passers-by on Telegraph.

“I was trying to help,” Purple said of the sandwich attack. “She was saying all kinds of crazy things,” and “I just offered to hear hear her out,” when she began beating me with a turkey sandwich, which flew all over the place as she attacked me, Purple told me.

'Purple,' left, after turkey sandwich attack. Photo by Ted Friedman.

“I was twisting and twirling to dodge the attack. i could keep that up all day and never get hit.,” Purple said.

The attacker was later interviewed by police, whom, she was overheard telling she had had her “stuff stolen,” by the slackers..

Wields a mean turkey sandwich. Photo by Ted Friedman.


A Berkeley policeman stationed nearby was stopping strollers to warn that all Berkeley Business Districts were no-smoking. The officer told me, he had been issued what he called “a quota,” of tickets to write for the day, Calling this “unfair, selective enforcement,” the officer told me he would complain to his police union.

“All enforcement is selective,” I pointed out.

“This is just unfair,” said the officer.

A few days earlier, Berkeley Police had brought in an animal control officer to make sure street dogs kept their distance (3 feet) from their bloods.

At a recent meeting of Telegraph street vendors and merchants, BPD Chief Michael K. Meehan noted that “Telegraph is getting 40% of our responses, but you have to keep complaining if you want us to act.”


Deterioration Down Town as Telegraph gets big of share cop scrutiny.
Photo by Ted Friedman.

As Telegraph becomes police-controlled, Shattuck, downtown, seems headed for street problems, although police had recently succeeded with a crackdown there.

According to Berkeley Reporter–squeezing a toothpaste tube to smooth out one area will cause a bulge in another.

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