Three Telegraph Ave. Scoops

by Steed Dropout
Mar. 8, 2014


A dozen downtown Berkeley ambassadors, who cleaned up downtown last year at the same time cops cleared out some troublemakers, were hired this month to do the same on Telegraph, although with only two ambassadors.

This could change nothing but minor looks on Teley or it could be prelude to a crackdown on street people There is no evidence of ambassador harassment of downtown street people, but Block by Block (which sponsors the ambassadors) has been criticized elsewhere for dislocating street people. Each ambassador program, BBB claims, is localized. How Berkeley would it be for Berkeley ambassadors to sweep the streets of street people?

Latest Scoop; 'Cream' reflected in window. Photo by Ted Friedman.

That hasn’t yet happened here.

The mayor’s brainstorming bonanza last year for Telegraph renewal left attendees in brain-pain.

Architect plans presented by the mayor depicted Teley’s nightmare alley as a glorified Santa Monica-style shopping mall, which had brainstormers’ eyes rolling like film credits.

Two hundred attendees who said they’d attended at least 200 such meetings to fix Teley said this would be their last fix. “I’m cured,” someone said disgustedly.


The ice-cream flap between “CREAM,” across the street from Rasputin’s planned “DREAM,” may be melting away.

Rasputin defended themselves, last year, at city council for calling their ice cream-stand, Dream, across the street from Ice-cream rival, “Cream.” Dream signs went up in December. But weeks later, Dream was hauled down and a new sign: “Hoop Dreams,” showing a driving basketball player for the TSARS went up. Soon, a basket ball hoop hoisted inside.

Why did Rasputin change its Dream (rimes with Cream) concept after all it had gone through defending it? You’d have to ask the owner, who is inscrutable. Despite holding empty buildings hostage on Teley, Rasputin is the very model of a modern Teley business man. His “Make Pizza Not War” is famous.

When Scoop Dreams was Dream. Photo by Ted Friedman.

Marketing for Hoop Dreams paid off yesterday, as an entire school class used discount coupons from Rasputin’s Blondie’s for ice-cream. His ice-cream rivals called him “predatory.” Maybe they were right to fear him and his multi-tiered marketing.


In an age when corporate greed is assumed and we are all an underclass cruelly hammered by the corporate elite; this is a sweet Berkeley yarn about a Telegraph Ave. chain drugstore with a big bleeding heart…or do they actually need my drug business?

When I complained to Walgreen’s headquarters that their pharmacist wouldn’t refill my Flonaze, I got a call from the Walgreen’s store manager, Greg.

I threatened to move my account down the block to CVS.

“Sir you can’t do that,” said Walgreen’s Greg.

“I can’t?” I objected.

“What would I have to do to keep you from leaving?” Greg implored.

“Ever sell cars?” I asked.

I told him what to do.The pharmacist must fill my Flonaze today, I demanded. “The guy down the block will do it, he told me,” I reported.

“He just wants your business. He’d say anything,” Greg countered.

Greg said that wooing my business was like wooing a gal. “Well you must not be wooing very well,” I insulted, “because you can’t meet my demand.”

“I’m doing very well,” Greg shot back. “there are plenty of available girls.”

I can just hear him: “baby you can’t leave; baby, I really care about you,” and all that drool.

I think Greg would wear down most opposition with his sincere pitch. Maybe his woo works with women.

Chief ambassador: things to come. Photo by Ted Friedman.

The Flonaze is probably earning Walgreen’s some part of $70. In a year, that one drug will gross the $1,400. If my other drugs are not generic (several aren’t), they could be earning $4-5,000 yearly on my meds.

Does that make my account valuable or do they really like me?

I’m meeting Greg tomorrow to take his picture and to see if he has any ideas for me to pitch women better woo.

Woo who?

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